Es And if I m not mistaken Jesus Christ was himself nailed to a cross through his hands and feetAnd they became saints prophets and one of them is definitely the son of God Himself And you Abelard oh my you ve got nothing poor you Origen castrated himself and didn t get promoted Do you see him moaning and making such a fuss out of this Well do you No He just sits there uietly and Oh who am I kidding Last week I convoluted in bed and screamed in pain due to bowel movements Who am I to judge you poor AbelardNo one caresThe funniest book you ve ver read in your life is from the 12th century I thought to myself Well this is kind of shocking And it tells a story of misfortunes As La Rochefoucauld would put it 500 years after such turmoil Nous avons tous assez de force pour supporter les maux d autruiWait But he also said L orgueil ne veut pas devoir The Qur'an, Morality and Critical Reason: The Essential Muhammad Shahrur et l amour propre ne veut pas payerNo need to conjure that cranky french maxim writer After all who cares about a whiny self centered monk who s been dead for almost nine centuries I actually read this book online through Project Gutenberg It is a memoir telling the story of Abelard s life and adventures with particular focus on hispic romance But of course this is a story which took place during the 12th century AD adding an interesting layer of historical interest to what otherwise reads as a rather modern tale What I Vermeer to Eternity expectedHi I m Abelard a brilliant and tragic figure I m going to tell you about my lifelong devotion to my scholarship and my religion I will alsoxplain how I dealt with that whole Heloise thing Heaven to Betsy everyone talks about how we lovedach other truly and profoundly but our morals and stations in life kept us from So B. It ever being together in than spiritWhat I gotHi I m Abelard an insufferable narcissist with a persecution complex Everywhere I go people slander andven try to kill me because my logical proofs regarding the unity of the Trinity are so much cleverer than theirs I mean the very smartest people tend to love me a bunch Cabaret even follow me around all the time begging me to teach themverything I know but veryone lse is too stupid to see how awesome I am I kind of remind myself of Jesus in that respect actually Well maybe in than that respect I mean I AM pretty perfect Also at one point I met this girl Heloise and we were both super smart and good looking so we figured it d make sense to shack up for a bit but then she got pregnant and her dad was pissed and that was over Oh well Did I mention "that I m really awesome I found Abelard to be gotistical "I m really awesome I found Abelard to be gotistical obnoxious He has a real victim complex and really pats himself on the back for totally taking advantage of Heloise who has a totally different version of things Peter Abelard was not well loved by his contemporaries they were afraid of his new scholastic approach to analyzing fine points of scripture they resented the brilliance and creativity of his mind they were furious at his popularity with the young students at the University in Paris Of
course his dalliance with Heloise gave them ammunition to discredit him not his dalliance with Heloise gave them ammunition to discredit him not did he lose his cojones he lost his position as lecturer and served out the rest of his days as abbot of a monastery That s not all there is to the story but it s a star. On made him a target for freuent charges of heresy and all his works were ventually included in the church's Index of Forbidden Books Unfortunately Abélard’s reputation as a philosopher is often overshadowed by his renown as a loverIn addition to its value as a scholarly treatise The Story of My Misfortunes offers the rare opportunity to observe a legendary romance from the point of view of one of its participant. ,
I ve never understood why the story of Abelard and Heloise is considered romantic Abelard was a self centered whiner who seems to have had no reservations about violating his monastic vows and the trust of his mployer He finagled a teaching position with the plan of beating his student so that she would give into his sexual demands he had En plein coeur entrusted a tender lamb to the care of a ravenous wolf When he had thus given her into my charge not alone to be taught butven to be disciplined what had he done save given free scope to be disciplined what had he done save given free scope to desires to bend her to my will with threats and blows if I failed to do so with caresses Is this an interesting and revelatory passage concerning how ideas of love change over time and cultures Yes Is it romantic Not to me at least I d totally be there with Heloise s brothers castrating the teacher who knocked up my little sister This story also peeves me because it serves as an The Bookshop on the Shore exemplar againstducation for womenOf course Abelard never blames himself for any of his problems it is all due to the jealousy of others For a text that is supposed to be romantic Abelard spends a lot time bragging about how brilliant he is and whining about how Dance Real Slow everyone is mean to him than thinking about Heloise I suspect that most of his persecutions occurred because he was an intolerable prick And who the fuck names their baby Astrolabe Persuasiveemotional and beautiful Reading this book was like getting a family pack ice creammy flavor is vanillaby the way afterating plain bread for a month It had verything that a book needs a good storyinteresting characters and beautiful writing style Abelard sounded arrogant at times with his lephant size pride and supreme conviction of his superiority Like in this sentence So distinguished was my name and I possessed such advantages of youth and comeliness that no matter what woman I might favour with my love I dreaded rejection of none Vanity and pride isn t considered good in a Christianis it It is that part which made me give only four stars to this book Philosophy isn t discussed much considering the fact that this is the autobiography of a philosopher But certain theological arguments had been cited when the situation demanded it For The Day Christ Was Born: The True Account of the First 24 Hours of Jesus's Life examplehe couldn t havelaborated on "the persecutions if he didn t xplain the "persecutions if he didn t xplain the he faced on his xplanation of Trinity And considering the number of pages mployedthis book is an PostgreSQL Server Programming - Second Edition excellent account of one s life He had tried to add all the significant incidents and the only problem was hisxaggeration of his own positives and his Integrity Restored: Helping Catholic Families Win the Battle Against Pornography enemies faults But we are all humans and we often tend to do so As a bookthis was an interesting read This autobiography has a little about Abelard s childhood a lot on his college years andarly years as "A Teacher His Relationship "teacher his relationship Heloise and his years as a monk He wrote it when he was about 53 years old I found it irritating how he was constantly paranoid that others were out to do him harm he s just obsessed with this I think he would have been happiest if he had filled a wagon full of books and then gone to live in a nice uiet cave I liked how when he wanted to marry Heloise she did her best to dissuade him saying that he was too intelligent to be chained to a wife and he shou. In this classic of medieval literature a brilliant and daring thinker relates the spellbinding story of his philosophical and spiritual nlightenment and the tale of his tragic personal life as well Peter Abélard paints an absorbing portrait of monastic and scholastic life in twelfth century Paris while also recounting the circumstances and conseuences of one of history’s most famous love stories his doomed romanc. Ldn t waste his time chasing around after a bunch of kids If only people thought like that today You know some guys interpret the warning of taking Heaven by storm as an incentive to their aspirations Such a one was Peter Abelard And so alas was I to the point of imperilling my healthAbelard though crossed A Bridge Too Far by crossing the family of the noble young
LADY WHOM HE WAS IN THEwhom he was in the of ducating How did he do that I ll let you guessBottom line what do you think did noblemen do in the Middle Ages to young swains who crossed the fine line of propriety with their daughters Well I gotta advise you to read this short classic to find that outHint it wasn t nice How to put a permanent crimp in your social life yikesSo here was Abelard one of the pre minent theologians and certainly the most unsettling of m of the Middle Ages forced for THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE to humbly fall back on his faith A comeuppance for sureBut if you re a believer like me you ll see Higher Powers at work hereWhatever you may think Sic Transit Gloria That glory Being the most famous and most popular religious teacher and author in late Medieval France and now suddenly becoming an abandoned tattered Tibetan Prayer Flag waving furiously in the unforgivingly frigid Himalayan windSimilar things happened to me in my lifeImpelled by popularity and success to seek higher and higher honours I crashed when Reality bit hard The Daemon Knows says Harold Bloom that he s impelling you to a region remote from the Rose Gardens of glorySo a word to the wise Follow your Heart and your Soul not your Gut FeelingFollow the RIGHT wayTo the nd of your uest "Funniest Twelfth Century Book Ever "twelfth century book ver m an obvious Abelard devotee despite being an atheist who cares and love him and his work to bits but this book really is The Road From Home: The Story Of An Armenian Girl extremely underrated It s bitter and angry but that just makes it rather hilarious Anyone with knowledge of all the great twelfth century intrigues within the church and intellectual world would love this but perhapsveryone Exile and Pilgrim else would as well Give it a shot it s very short and you ve got nothing to loose One of my all time favourites For those who are unfamiliar with Abelard he was a twelfth century theologianphilosopher with a rather tragic life He fell in love with Heloise whose uncle had him castrated long story but basically the uncle thought Abelard wouldn t marry Heloise which he actually had and thought that Abelard would leave Heloise alone with their child and so the uncle got pissed off and had two men castrate Abelard After the incident he became a monk and Heloise a nun They wrote many letters toach other and those letters are perhaps the reason for their fame he almost got lynched while being abbot in Brittany for disagreeing with his monks and he got xcommunicated by the church twice despite being a rather devoted Christian Needless to say he wasn t a happy bunny after all of this and thus he wrote this Historia Calamitatum Isaiah was sawed to death in his uator Jonah was swallowed by a fish Habakkuk travelled through the air suspended by his hair Amos got his teeth pulled out one by one for talking too much St Ignatius of Antioch was Hannah Montana: The Movie eaten by lions St Lawrence got toasted St Hyppolitus was torn apart by hors. E with HeloiseConsidered the founder of the University of Paris Abélard was instrumental in promoting the use of the dialectical method in Westernducation He regarded theology as the handmaiden of knowledge and believed that through reason people could attain a greater knowledge of God By doubting he declared we come to inuire and by inuiry we arrive at truth Abélard's tendency to leave uestions open for discussi. .